too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
