Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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