So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
