what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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