You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
