I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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