YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
