so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
