we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
