Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
