she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
