...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Let's get the cat blown out
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
