Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i just had sex bonerless
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
COCAINE IS GR8
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
