Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
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