So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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