Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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