Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
