After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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