ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
