I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
