What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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