i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
