oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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