Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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