we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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