Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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