Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
