i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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