My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
