my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Four minutes until I can fart!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
