I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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