My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
