if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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