Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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