New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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