maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
True college students do jello shots in the library
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
