Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
how drunk are you?
Several
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
