Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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