I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
