there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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