please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
This is my gift to your gina
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
