Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
