Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
