whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
