We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
