The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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