i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
