U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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