then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
