Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
