Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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