He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
