This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
